What was plan A, I hear you ask? And why did we go to Plan B? Well let me take you back a few years. About 10,000 of them actually. Before that time everyone fed themselves on what they found, and they left it there because they knew that when they came back again next year, it would give them another bunch of food like this year. They moved about and fed themselves on raspberry from the edge of that wood, and then they ate hazelnuts as they traveled through the wood. Maybe finding some Oyster mushrooms growing off an old log.
This went well for a short while...
about 50,000 years. But you know how it is. There must be change or
else everything will stay just like it is. Also, we have to feed the
growing population. Did you know that at the last stone age census,
there were fifty people living in McDonald County? How the heck are
we going to feed all those people with just a few raspberries and
hazelnuts. I know, lets cut down those woods, dig it all up and plant
some corn in nice neat rows. Then when someone eventually invents a
combine harvester, we can quickly harvest all the corn we've grown
and make lots of recipes that I saw on primitive Pinterest last week.
Well that's been okay for a while but
now there are thousands of people in McDonald County, and do you
remember Jed Clampit found that black gold that we used to make gas
for that combine harvester we eventually got invented? Well it turns
out that the black gold is running dry and the insects have started
eating all our corn. But we sorted out that last problem because some
clever people invented a spray to kill all those insects, and they
also invented a bunch of stuff to put on our crops to make them grow
quicker and bigger. What does it matter that the soil is turning to
dust, we just have to pour more stuff on the fields each year to make
the corn grow. What? You say you don't like corn? It gives you
allergies? What are allergies? We never had them when I was a kid.
Must be something else we need to invent to stop that.
Now I've heard there are some strange
people about these days. Subversives I dare say. They say they have
come up with a really great idea. They say they are going to plant
different stuff all over their farms. They say they aren't going to
grow just corn, and what's more, they reckon they aren't going to use
any of that brilliant stuff that the clever people invented. They say
they are going to bring the soil back to what it used to be like. And
they are going to let nature take it's course with the insects and
stuff. It all sounds a little far fetched to me, but I do like a
raspberry now and again and apparently there are more calories in
hazelnuts and chestnuts than all the corn we have been growing. I do
think it's a bit subversive to me. I think it will cause a lot of
problems for all those clever people in time. Those clever people
will probably have to get a job at Walmart. What? Walmart will be
turned into a Farmers Supercenter Market? Are you telling me that I
won't be able to buy my chemical enriched food anymore?
Hello, my name is Graham and I'm a
subversive.
